My name is Ayu, 22 years old. At this age, I feel ready to get married. I want a calmer, more stable life, with a partner I can share everything with. Especially now, I’m close with a 29-year-old guy. We’ve been going out for five months. Honestly… I was attracted to him at first simply because he’s handsome. Yes, just that simple. What girl wouldn’t melt?
But as time goes on, something feels off. He’s almost thirty, but his job… still uncertain. At first, I thought at that age he must already be ready for marriage, but I was wrong. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have a stable income yet, or maybe he’s just not sure about his own future.
When I told my parents, they immediately said “no.” Their reason was clear: his job is unclear. But I was in denial. In my heart I kept thinking, “Once we get married, blessings will come, right?” But my parents still said, “It’s not that simple.”
Now I’m confused. If I leave him, I keep thinking about him… because, yeah, he’s handsome 😅. But if I continue, I’m afraid he’ll be the one to leave me later. We’re in a long-distance relationship. We never really know someone’s heart—whether he’s serious or just playing around. What makes it worse, conversations with him don’t really flow. I can’t really open up to him. He’s closed-off, indifferent, sometimes even quick-tempered.
But still… I care for him. Why? Because he’s handsome.
It’s stupid, I know. But that’s where I am right now—stuck between logic and feelings, between being aware and still hoping.
If you want honest advice, here it is:
Being handsome won’t pay the electricity bill. Handsome isn’t enough to be a warm, understanding life partner who’s willing to share both good and bad times.
You’re still young, but already thinking about marriage—that’s a good thing. But marriage isn’t about chasing someone handsome and hoping he’ll change; it’s about growing together, understanding each other, and supporting one another.
If he doesn’t even know where he’s headed, how can you follow?
If you can’t even feel comfortable sharing things with him, how can you build a marriage full of communication?
If he’s indifferent, gets angry, not open, and you’re in a long-distance relationship on top of that… that’s a red flag, not something minor.
You can hope, but don’t let yourself be foolish because of false hope.
Ask yourself this:
“If he weren’t handsome, would I still want to stay?”
If the answer is no, then that’s not love… you’re just infatuated.
And darling, marriage can’t stand on infatuation.
But it can be built on trust, communication, and a shared vision.
Choose with open eyes, not just with a heart fluttering with excitement.
If you take a wrong step, it’s okay. But realizing it early is so much better than realizing it when it’s too late.
You are valuable. Don’t risk your future just for a pretty face that offers nothing when it comes to taking real steps forward. 🌱
Photo by FETHI BOUHAOUCHINE on Unsplash
