Sometimes, memories don’t come because we want to remember them—they just appear out of nowhere.
Like this morning, when I was folding laundry, and suddenly, for no reason at all, Langit’s face popped into my head again.
Langit. The CEO now.
Yes, really. CEO.
We used to be in the same department. He was the kind of guy you’d find in a Wattpad novel: tall, athletic, smart, adored by lecturers, and his public speaking could silence an entire auditorium. Back in college, I had the biggest crush on him. I still keep a photo of us together when we were on the organizing committee for a big campus event. That was when we started getting closer—exchanging BBM messages, talking about the event rundown, conversations that sometimes strayed into matters of the heart.
I remember him telling me he’d been single since breaking up with his middle school girlfriend. I had just broken up with my high school boyfriend, Fikri. It felt like the universe was giving us space. But the universe isn’t that simple.
Nina, one of Langit’s classmates and also my close friend, once said,
“Why do you even like Langit? Fikri’s better.”
She would even get annoyed if I asked too much about him. But my heart was full of curiosity.
Langit was… well, mesmerizing. But according to Nina, he was still close to his ex, Salsa. She said she’d even seen him giving Salsa a ride on his big motorcycle. Oddly, every time I spoke to Langit, he was warm and polite. He even once stood up for me when someone bothered me. How could I not fall harder?
One time, after a campus event, I went back to my parents’ house—three hours away by motorcycle. When I arrived, I saw his BBM status:
“Drive safely, you who live so far away.”
My heart soared. (Not the motorcycle—just my heart.)
The following semester, we ended up in the same class. We got closer, sometimes walking to class together, chatting, joking. But that was when I realized… maybe I didn’t like him that much. Or maybe something unspoken was quietly eroding my admiration.
One incident became the turning point. We planned to go on a trip with five people, Langit driving. I had already transferred 100,000 rupiah for the car rental and gas. But on the day, I canceled. When I asked for my money back, Langit said it was non-refundable because I was the one who backed out. I was stunned. It wasn’t an official event, just a casual trip. Why did it feel so formal? Harsh, I thought. Friends even told me to just ask him again. But I didn’t. 100,000 was a lot for a student like me, but I chose to step back—quietly.
A few weeks later, a big rumor spread: Langit was summoned by the Dean for allegedly embezzling funds from a campus event committee. Who wouldn’t be shocked? The guy who always looked sharp, adored by lecturers, and hustled for money. Yet he still came to class as usual, joking around as if nothing had happened.
It wasn’t until later that Nina told me: Langit actually liked me. He’d even asked her to help. But Nina told him I was still madly in love with Fikri. A lie. She just wanted me away from Langit, because she thought Fikri was much better. And that BBM status back then… it was for me.
But by then, my feelings had already faded. Even when we sat together again one day—by then he was back with Salsa, and I was back with Fikri—it all felt flat.
He told me he and Salsa were building a house together, with Salsa helping financially. He said she was the only woman who truly understood him—no matter how he behaved, she accepted him.
But rumors didn’t stop. Nina said Salsa once used her bank account to transfer some mysterious money, even giving her some cash as a “thank you.” From whom? For what? No one really knew.
Now, they’re at the top. Langit and Salsa run their own company. I often see their stories traveling abroad, shopping for branded goods. But I don’t feel jealous. I just… remember.
After all, I didn’t end up with Fikri either. After seven years together, Fikri passed away. My heart felt empty for a long time. But I never truly felt the loss of Langit. Maybe because he never really made it into my heart in the first place.
And so, Langit remained high—just like his name, which means “sky.” But he was never the sky I embraced. Just a shadow from the past… that sometimes visits, then drifts away.
Image by Graphix Made from Pixabay
