Three years ago, Rani’s marriage was on the verge of falling apart. Endless arguments drained her, and her heart was filled with wounds. Her mind kept replaying painful memories of her husband, Bagas. Until one day, they decided to see a marriage counselor.
In that quiet room, the counselor spoke gently, yet the words cut deep:
“Perhaps your husband has already changed… but you keep replaying in your mind that he is the one who hurt you the most. What you remember are his mistakes, and that’s why you cannot see his changes.”
Those words struck Rani like lightning. She realized how often she had replayed old memories, like a movie stuck on repeat. She had clung too tightly to past wounds, so much that she failed to notice Bagas’s efforts to grow and become better.
From that day on, Rani began to learn. She understood that a marriage could never grow if one partner kept holding on to the “old version” of the other. People can change, but it takes an open heart to truly see it.
Now, years later, Rani is deeply grateful she didn’t give up back then. If she had chosen to live in her pain, she would never have met the Bagas she knows today: more mature, more caring, more committed to their life together.
Marriage, she realized, is not just about walking side by side. It’s about two people who keep learning, falling, and rising again. But above all, the first thing that must be renewed is not the partner — it’s the way we choose to see them.
So, whenever doubt tries to creep in, Rani asks herself:
Is it really Bagas who hasn’t changed?
Or is it me who’s still trapped in his old version?
Photo by Cate Bligh on Unsplash
